Who writes your story?

Looking through old window of house with cliff and ocean view



Sitting at my desk in my modestly sized home office I am gazing out at the beautiful sea view that lays beyond our new house.


A huge smile is on my face as the warm July breeze carries the smell of the sea in through the window, accompanied by the sounds of seagulls flying overhead.  All the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings that accompanied my childhood holidays surround me, but this is a Monday morning and I’m not on holiday.


For many years I have studied, lead by many amazing mentors and surrounded by communities of people supporting each other on our respective journeys, but it hasn’t all been easy.  There have been many days when I have worked a full day in my job and then another 5 or 6 hours when I got home, or lost whole weekends trying new ways of working, failing, learning and trying again.  All that my mentors have taught me about the importance of vision and goal setting has, at times, seemed like idealistic nonsense as the work involved with reaching them feels like wading through the thickest and deepest of mud.


However, those times ended when the momentum first started.  All of a sudden I began to see results, slowly at first, then more regularly until they came thick and fast.  Before I knew it my life of dreaming of this day was over and finally the day itself is here.  I have built a new career in coaching, speaking and marketing.  Much of my business is still in support of others, either retailing the programs and memberships that have supported me through the process of building my new life, or helping and speaking at events arranged by others.


However, I have recently found my own voice at last, and my own programs and events are just months away.


Many of the people I have helped and supported along the way have already booked places at these events and are eager to meet me.  My email inbox is filled with heartfelt thanks from clients for the help and guidance I have given them as they went through the process of transforming their lives.


Then there is this view.  For years I have dreamed of living life by the sea, waking each morning to a landscape that inspires me, but I also wanted to retain my house in my home region as many of my friends and family are there.  Finally, I get to have my cake and eat it as I have made enough to afford to have both my old home for those times I want to be there and this beautiful coastal property for the times in between.  Best of all because I’m not bound to an office I can work from either, and whenever I want to, not on somebody else’s schedule. Not that it feels like work when you truly love what you do.


Who would have thought I could achieve all this by July 2021?


Who writes your story?


Each and every day we progress, our stories unfold, but who is the author?  There has to be an author right? Whether it be the world around us, or God, or fate, or our bosses, the government, the system?  Here’s a thought: what if it could be us?


As you look back on the days that have recently passed, who has written your story?


Was it written by your boss who told you to ‘work until it’s done’, maybe the angry driver who cut you up, that horrible story on the news, or that person on Facebook who taunted you into an argument that made you mad?  Maybe it was a better day and it was actually written by the surprise party your friends laid on for you, the romantic evening you had or the bliss of a day with no plans.


Whatever defined your emotions and your thought as you went through this time, is the thing that wrote your story in that moment.  It may have been good or bad, but was it taking you towards exactly what you want your life to be?


The chances are the answer is no, because there is only one way that can happen.


It’s time for you to pick up the pen.


You see you can write your own story.  This is one of the most important lessons I have learnt recently and the consequences of understanding this are huge.  You can pick up the pen and be the author, and when you do you get to choose how every chapter ends, how the hero ( or heroine) responds to every adversity and yes, you can even write the happy ending, and of course set up the sequel.


Very few people understand that in today’s world we have a truly incredible ability to write so much of our story and even fewer know how.




writer writes a fountain pen on paperwork close up

6 simple steps


So here it is, my 6 step guide to start to take control of the pen and write your own story.


Decide on your destination – When you start any journey, take the time to really decide on the destination.  Close your eyes and imagine your dream life using all your senses.  How does it look, sound, feel, taste, smell and most importantly what emotions does it bring up?  Write this all down, every detail especially the emotions.  When your dream future is so clear that you can feel the excitement and happiness it will bring already inside you then it will not only act as your compass but also as your fuel.


Vision it daily – refine it if you like.  As what you truly long for becomes clearer adjust the vision to represent this new clarity or to reflect the changes in your priorities.

Always describe and experience the vision as if it was already true and bring in all your senses.  What can you see, hear, smell and taste?  Most importantly, what do you feel?  Both physically and emotionally.


Plot a path – This is the practical bit and there are many goal setting books and articles out there, but I’m going to suggest that you make one small change.  Start from the end.

From the experience of your vision ask yourself “What was the very last thing I did to get here?”.  As you look back towards where you are now, from the point where your vision is true, list the things you accomplished in reverse order until you get to the very next thing you need to do.  Obstacles look smaller when you look back from then, so the path becomes clearer.


Move forward every day – It doesn’t have to be far.  Many who have picked up the pen and authored their own story will tell you that it’s not about the destination.  After all how boring would any book be if it only contained the end?  However, a step each day, large or small, will take you a bit closer each time and those steps soon add up.


Don’t get distracted – If something isn’t taking you towards your vision you don’t need it, so think twice before spending your time, money or energy on it.  Some things you’ll want to do anyway, especially if they help you to live for the now as well as the future.  But make a priority of the things that contribute to your overall story before the detail.


Enjoy the good bits – This sounds obvious but so many people get so engrossed in writing their next chapter they forget to enjoy the one they are currently in.  So whether it’s the end of the chapter or just the relief of surviving a trial and coming out on top, always enjoy the good bits as you get to them.


No one is better placed than you to write your story and no one can stop you when you choose to.


So isn’t it time that you picked up the pen?




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